First day of consideration...

Well, i've considered getting gastric bypass surgery done before. I have always thought about it, just never had the courage or knew anyone who has had the surgery before and had a good outcome. Thankfully, two weeks ago i met a lady who was very sweet named Brooke who is my new inspiration and my help through this process. She had the surgery about two months ago and has lost 35lbs so far and says it's been such a great experience.

I honestly cannot wait until i can look in the mirror and be happy with what i see. I cannot wait to not spend my days worrying about what to eat, where i dont' have to spend my money on food, rather i can spend my money on new clothes. I cannot wait til the day that I can ride rollercoasters and not walk away with bruises on my hips from not being able to fit into the seats. I cannot wait until i can go places and not have to worry about if i'll break the seat. I cannot wait until the day that i can get on exercise equipment and not worry about breaking it because i'm at the weight limit for it. I cannot wait until the day I can actually go out and have fun and not feel like people are starring at me and thinking that this FAT girl shouldn't be out seen anywhere.

I cannot wait until the day i get married and I can fit into a dress and actually say "wow, i look good". I cannot wait til the day that i can go to a job interview and not be "judged" or passed up because i'm fat. I cannot wait til the day that I can go to mall and actually shop in the "normal" stores rather than only the plus size ones, in general, i cannot wait to be able to set foot in a mall without cruel people saying things about my weight. Granted, those people will never change and they will always tease people, but I choose to be one of the ones they no longer tease.

I want to be able to go to my high school reunion and not be afraid that people will notice how fat I am and spend their time explaining how i used to be thin. I want to get back to where i was when i was in high school.

The saddest part of all, is that when i was in high school i weighed 135lbs and i still thought i was fat.

I'm getting this all out on the table, i'm thankful to have a great family that's supportive, a fiance that loves me no matter what and supports me and friends that also support me. I am also very grateful for Brooke who is the reason i'm getting this surgery. :)

Thanks everyone! :)