5 Wishes *i wish to be*...

Let's talk about RUDE awakenings. 

5 wishes.

My case manager from blue cross said that this is a weird subject to bring up to patients who are my age, 27 because it's not something they ever thought about at their age.  I understand.

At first, it was a bit of a gut-wrench-er. I saw there quiet as I tried to figure out if she was trying to tell me that I needed to do a "will" before surgery "just-in-case" but instead she just kind beat around the bush and went over reason's why it's best to have this planned out ahead of time before surgery.  I then asked "do you mean like a living will of some sort?" she said "well, i know it's a lot to take in at 27 years old and not something you want to face right now, but just as a suggestion, it is a good idea so that your family will feel comfortable in making decisions for you if something did go wrong during or after surgery."  I agreed. 

I kind of always wanted to have one on hand, because I know several people who died at an early age.  That's not to say that i'll die young, but I know that my feelings about "life" won't change by the time i'm 80 years old and in my "elderly" years. 

I read some of the questions and honestly, some of the questions I had to read a few times to totally understand what on earth my answer would be.  I don't even know some of the answers to these questions.  LOL! 

I'm going to make my mom the "agent" or well "decision maker" and if she's not able to do it, it will be my "dad".  I feel bad because I would have it be David, but since we are not married, I don't want to put that kind of responsibility on him and make anything happen where my family would be upset with him for going off of MY guidelines and making a decision they wouldn't have made.  I just want it to be that when i'm gone, whether that's now or WAY FAR off (hoping and praying for the last one.. lol) then I want them to still be close to David.  He needs my family and I know they would be sad without him around too. 

I will, however, write up a letter to each person in my immediate family and to David to let them know how I feel in case they had any "last words" it will be like a "conversation" with out the other person's opinion, just "questions answered" i guess. 

I know that this won't happen...at least that's the mentality I'm going to keep to make it through surgery and not get all freaked out before surgery happens.  I want to go into surgery with a clean heart (that's business with me and God) and a clear mind and HAPPY THOUGHTS.  :)